Friday, January 13, 2012
Pain is fuel.
I just got finished with a wonderful conversation with my mentor who articulated for me the feeling I'm facing. That is, feeling like I'm back in "the same place" again. And she offered me a beautiful illustration...
In contrast to a 'round and 'round farris wheel, the journey of life experiences is actually more like a trail through a diverse forest. Some spots are beautifully lit and full of mushrooms and owls and farriers and all those romantic things I believe to inhabit a forest. Other patches are dark and full of scary corner turning, peering, and running away from the big-BAD-...something. And sometimes I do feel like I'm in the same spot I was in 6 months ago or a year ago.
But I'm not.
It's impossible to be in the same place. Not with our God; not with the growth and work he does in lives. I'm further down the trail, but the bending and winding has brought me back to the same view. Everything around looks the same as it did during that terrible tragedy or that averse heartbreak, but I am not in the same place. And I might just be brought back to this view again, but then I'll be even further along.
So I've decided that heartache is fuel because I am in a different part of my life's path... and though I hurt over harsh stuff that throws itself on me in that life forest, I'm motivated to move. To keep moving down the path and into the next thing. That is, after I sit here and look at this all-too-familiar view for a few days.