Saturday, June 30, 2012

Of bodies and trends...

Can we talk about the body? I don't mean the body of Christ. I mean our bodies: those physical things in which we all live.

I have a very average sized body. I am of average height. In fact, according to Epcot at Disney World, 5'6" is the average size of a woman throughout the world. {I remember learning this when I was 14 and the only thing that interested me about my family's road trip through Florida was it's end at Disney World. Boy, did I soak it all up.} Actually, I'm a bit tall for an American woman, but in Norway, Slovenia, or Austria, I'd be the average Jane (according to "human height" by Wikipedia). I am also of average weight.

(Accept it, self. just drink that in.)

So, can someone tell me why this girl of average height and weight cannot find clothes that fit? Yesterday, I found myself at one of my least favorite stores: Forever21. I couldn't quite remember why it was a least favorite...was it because it's way too trendy for my classical style? Or because they blast their music too loudly? Or because the options are overwhelming and insurmountable? Maybe...but then I got to the dressing room and remembered. Certain stores simply do not make clothes for average sized women. One either must be miniature, with not a curve on her body, or have a perfectly proportioned full-figure. I am neither of these things. I am right smack in the middle of this spectrum, as are MANY OF THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD.

Don't let me bore you with my rant because it's going somewhere productive (I hope). Not only am I saddened by the cheap materials, outsourced labor, and overall quality used by massive trend-stores. I am saddened by the scripture found on the bottom of Forever21's bags. John 3:16 is a completely life-giving, truth-filled scripture and I find myself paradoxically struggling to find life and truth when I am in a place that promotes trend and trend only. Ironically enough, I was even wearing the one thing I do own from this store when I walked in yesterday. I had bought this pink dress a few years ago and guess what: I felt totally...let's just say "not with the times" in it. That's how quickly trends come and go!

Forgive me, Forever21 lovers and employees alike because it is not one person or idea with which I'm angry. I'm not even angry. I simply need to get it out in the open that average women need more. More than just trend. More than just affordable prices. We need something that makes us feel beautiful, not just "with it". Am I right?

Perhaps I should pursue my recently-awash dream of shopping thrift stores and American-made clothes only...or start sewing my own threads. Well neither of these are likely to happen and I know that I know that I will step foot into a trendy store again at least once in my life. I probably just need to be more prepared.

This all makes me wonder if there will be shopping on the new earth...I hope to God that there won't.

Monday, June 25, 2012


{the BIG frames}

Well, I suppose it's time. Time to get some of my lofty ideas down on *paper*...

I am currently in a state of trying to distinguish between summer and life. Now that I've graduated, my life for the next few years or so is expected to be as it's been for this first month of freedom. However, I know things will change and I know I will get into more of a routine once regular work picks I am trying my best to embrace this summer break, as it were, so that I am refreshed for whatever that new pace may end up being. Do you follow? It can be hard not knowing...

Nonetheless, I am endlessly enjoying my life in the garden, my life of stories, my life as a nanny. And last weekend, I was given the opportunity to stay at a beach resort by myself. I could have taken a friend, but I quite honestly desired the alone time {even though these weeks in which I'm dwelling are nothing BUT alone time, as my family is overseas}...I struggled with knowing whether my quick decisions about solitary activities were healthy. This is how the process looked:

I wonder if I'm really ok being "the confident" woman some may see me as. Am I? Jetting down to a beach resort because it's free and there and I totally have the time right now...and yes, I almost feel that it would be more enjoyable alone.
I'm the girl who lived in two places at once to keep myself sane during a hectic semester...the girl who hikes down the mountain, away from her friends, to eat a $10 veggie platter at the Ahwahni...the girl who very quickly chose the BIG glasses frames, thinking she could pull them off.
So much of me is independent...and while I am good with this, I don't really want to be taking pride in it, nor do I want to suffer loneliness because of it.
Lord, would you show me where to place my independence in my walk with you? And would you remind me that it is a walk with you...thank you for guiding me through these thoughts.

So here I sit, another day off and another day for job searching, garden growing, and story emerging...and all the while, I have *independently* made myself busy with quite a few social engagements this week because, hey it's good for me, says my walking companion.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What I'm Into, June 2012

I'm back! Not feeling in the mood to recap an entire two months or so, I'll just offer the basics: I am a B.A. or, I have a BA at least. And I moved into my new 'cottage' in the backyard of my parents' house. This evening, I think I'll do a "What I'm Into" to get back in the swing of things.

So, June 2012~ WHAT I'M INTO

On my nightstand: Just finished "Fairest" and am making my way through a couple other half-finished FUN books from January or so. My new nightstand has a fabulous lamp...I haven't had a bed-side lamp in a while.

TV show worth watching: Ooo, I am currently into Bunheads, Tia & Tamara, Touch, and The Next Food Network Star. Summer! Time for TV!

Movie I've seen: A Hallmark Hall of fame (aka, still cheesy but not as lame as regular Hallmark movies) called Firelight.

In my kitchen: The beginnings of PRODUCE. That's right, the yard is just starting to explode with fresh apricots, tomatoes, zucchini, and green beans.

In my ears: CDs, for I have a new(ish) car and found a fascinating CD collection that's kept my ears busy for a while...Laura Hackett, Civil Wars, Natalie MacMasters...