Friday, May 4, 2012

...I'm just dying to say, "Come and get it, boys!"

Yeah. There are some questionable connotations to that statement. It's just my silly exclamation that the dating fast is over. However, no exclamation point needed, for it's an anticlimactic finish and I knew it would be. I had no dates planned on May 1st; I did not wear anything extra special to draw attention. No, no. This was not the break-fast I was even going for.

Sure, there's a really quiet, subtle disappointment that nothing magical happened on the day I was "free" to date anyone I pleased. But mostly, I've been sitting in a state of matter-of-fact gratitude for the lessons I've learned over the past three months. And I mean to share those lessons with you!

I've learned that I must kick this habit: giving in to my compulsion to initiate. I am an activator by nature and have said this before: flakiness kills me. If we're going to hang out, let's decide when (right now). However, I know I need to leave lots of room for being pursued because I know that I must marry a man who is also a strong initiator.

I need to pray more. I want to pray more. I also want to obtain a higher level of confidence in my hobbies and talents, especially in regards to the home (because hi, I am passionate about the home).

I apparently need to find an individual who is diligent, who laughs a lot (at himself and at me when I am my unconventional self), who is open to health consciousness and not afraid of whole wheat flour or real butter, and who is theologically kind. I say apparently because these are characteristics that came to my mind throughout the fast.

I've left a lot out.

I do not want this to sound like a personal add.

But these are just a few of the many discoveries I've made about my own needs and desires over this three month period. I'm glad to be done writing about my love life because for the few posts that I did, it felt very unnatural and vulnerable. (Can you hear my wobbly voice?) Thanks to the girls and kind people who supported me in this unexciting, yet important fast.