Monday, July 26, 2010
Bane–noun. a person or thing that ruins or spoils
I thought there could only be one "bane of my existence"... and that would have to be sin and/or Satan, right? But I actually use this phrase quite often and according to the above definition (thanks, Websters!), my existence can have multiple banes. Why am I introing what's supposed to be a food blog entry with this? Well, I'm actually taking a small break from the food series (sorry, I just haven't come up with a killer mid-afternoon snack! Any ideas?) to talk about relationships. To say relationships are the bane of my existence would be an absolute lie... but keeping up with important relationships sometimes does fall into the "bane"ish category.
Don't get me wrong. I WANT so badly to keep up with everyone I love on a regular basis, but I'm realizing more and more there are a lot of people I love! Yesterday I brought this before the Lord. I told him I was overwhelmed. I hate losing touch and yes, some relationships must preside over others, but I feel like I'm in a tricky spot. I actually wrote down the names of everyone I want to catch or keep up with: girls from my Bible study, out of state family members, my old roommates, high school friends, co-counselors from camp, RA staff members, my girls from camp, Ha! That's like over 30 people. Firstly, Lord thank you for these valuable human connections...
Secondly, how do I do it? Is prioritizing people too task-oriented? Have I over committed myself? If you don't struggle with this, you're probably rolling your eyes by now, so please, give yourself permission to stop reading (yeah, I know, I tend to be an over-analyzer).
I think this is the answer: my expectations of myself must be lowered. Maybe I should just stop wasting time with apologies for the long time between visits or chats and get to the main event of hanging out! I'm learning the Lord has grace for me in this area as well. Last night, I prayed, "God, to everyone for which I'm supposed to be praying, please love them in specific and obvious ways tonight and tomorrow. Use them and encourage them. Help them to stay eternity-minded." I prayed this with a sincere heart and I believe the Spirit truly interceded the love I have for others, along with the overwhelming state I'm in to the Father, who in turn, is blessing these people AS I WRITE. Wow! Thanks be to him.
P.S. If you're my friend (and you probably are if your reading myHandH), I do love you! Don't take this to mean "you're a burden to me...get out", ha! Let's chat soon, ok?