I usually don't write when I'm feeling bad. And I'm not feeling bad today, but I have been... there have been awful things this week. And I wish I could tell you all the details. I wish I could spill out the very interesting thoughts I've been having, but I just can't...I'm learning how to restrain. I'm learning that my desire for intimacy is one that can only be fulfilled by Jesus. I have long struggled with the idea that I can't share my ENTIRE life with just anyone. Yes, I have my closest friends who know me inside and out, but even in those relationships, there are times when I have to stop stumbling over my words, desperate to be understood, and just give a groan to the Holy Spirit. I am rejoicing today in the fact that he takes those longing groans and turns them into coherent pleas before the Father. How marvelous.
But this morning, I'm not feeling so bad. It's been a week of self-care which can prove exhausting, but I was reminded last night by one of the sweetest of all people that I am a strong woman. What?! I usually describe myself as weak...seriously. But when I cut out time to take care of myself I am strong. You...ya, you who said that, you are amazing.
So I feel like living in pretty light today. Yesterday's theme was "comfort", the day before was "coming to the end of myself", today's is "pretty light"... abstract as it may be.