Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I like making decisions. I almost always know what I want for dinner, I rarely stand in front of the closet door clueless, and I don't tend to find myself bored easily because I have a whole slew of rainy day activities stored up in my head. I like when two people defer to me as they banter on about where to go to dinner. I am grateful for this ability and use it often. However, when it comes to big decisions, I slow down my pace.
Right now, I am looking at two very different options. To continue on with my education at this University and graduate as planned or to take a semester off to work (as in get money, but also to work on my heart) and graduate a semester later. They both sound fine. There are pros and cons. It makes sense to take time off but it would possibly mean facing hard things in my heart, like loneliness and finding my validity only in Christ, not in the exciting things I get to do with my life. (Woah, that's where my validity IS found; too bad I don't always recognize it).
I'm realizing that even through this decision, which I won't be able to make quickly, (ah, that drives me crazy!) God is taking me into a season of dependence. Dependence seems to become a lot more important when you don't know what your life will look like in a month... or six months.
And I know that whatever decision I do make, he will work the "things of it" together for good 'cause I love him and am called according to his purpose.